Tuesday, 7 February 2017

My New Chapter



Recently my life completely changed. Everything I thought I had and I thought was happening ended over a weekend. The break up was out of the blue and not my choice but the problems and atmosphere were old news. For a long time I put all my energy into a relationship that was destined to fail because the other person didn't want it. 
Love is blinding. 

After a full 7 days of crying (not counting the months of tears before) and thinking my world had ended, I decided that I wasn't going to let another persons choice, hidden personality and selfishness define me. It's been the most difficult situation I've ever had to deal with and telling everyone you're not getting married and that you're not living in the house you just bought is heartbreaking and humiliating. Especially so when they ask why.

 I can fully appreciate that I had a lucky escape. It was meant to be this way because a leopard doesn't change its spots. If it didn't happen now, I'd be getting a divorce at 26 years old. I know which option I prefer. I now have the opportunity to be happy and to have the life I want, I am grateful for that.

I've had the most insane support system. My family and friends have been incredible and have picked me back up and packed all my belongings and brought them to me when I couldn't face it. My friends at work have taken care of me everyday and the blogging community, well, what did I expect? You guys have been flooding my twitter mentions and direct messages. I couldn't be more grateful for every person who has offered me support, even in the form of wine and a place to hang out on a weekend. Thank you, I am lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life.

 I am over being sad, I am just irritated that someone would do this and put another person through this situation and heartache. But that's because I am a nice person at the end of the day, there's a way to do certain things...

In the words of Destiny's Child, I ain't gonna diss you on the internet, cos my mamma taught me better than that.

_________


This is a post I never thought I'd have to write because I thought I "had it all". I needed to write this to close that chapter for myself and for a lot of you who came along with my journey in the last 3 years and had kind of invested in that relationship. I share my life on the internet and that's my choice. I'm ready to write this and to put it all to bed and you know what? No tears and I don't even feel sad writing the words: I am single.

I am ok and I am ready to move on.

"You didn't break her darling, you don't own that kind of power."
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